R for Retarted

Lately, every good movie is rated R. Every hilarious comedy is rated R. Every breathtaking action-adventure movie is R. Every horror movie is R. And you know what R means. No children under 17 allowed unless accompanied by an adult or guardian. Well, how many adults are gonna take you to Funny People, The Hangover, Inglorious Basterds, or I Love You Man and the list goes on. I am downright tired of it. You see, here's what it narrows down to. Hollywood is made up of an adult and children audience. Now, lately the adult attendence rate has gone down. So in order to fix that, Hollywood makes more rated R movies. The top movie rating adults attend is R. Why? Because that means there is sure to be very few kids there. And also because adults know that R means it is their kind of movie. So where does that leave kids? Right at the PG rating where all the movies about talking animals and magic rocks lay. And yes I'm talking to you Shorts and G-Force. So to fix the problem, Hollywood should cut the crap. Here are some steps to fix the problem. 1. If you make a kiddy movie, make it worth 9 bucks. Sure Shorts will appeal to little kids, but where does that leave the kids 10-13? Nowhere. Make something that will appeal to everyone. 2. For all the rated R comedies, cut the constant sex. It doesn't make the movie any funnier. Now, if the movie is about someone getting pregnant, or about someone on their honeymoon, you have an excuse. But for I Love You Man, the story has nothing to do with sex, so why put it in? And Funny People had way too much, considering the fact it didn't need it to make it funny. 3. The cursing has got to stop. I mean, I'm not saying you can't say a few words every now and then, but some movies use curse words in every sentence. Just like sex, cursing does not make the joke any funnier. Use them when needed. Following these steps will not only help Hollywood gain more attendance, but will also increase the rating for the movie by critics. So in a way it's a win-win situation. Don't waste a second. Get in there and make some movie magic!

Funny People, Well sort of

When Funny People came out, my friends were excited. I mean very excited. Some went the very first night. Some told their parents they were going to G-Force, but instead bought a ticket to Funny People and told their friends to do the same. Funny thing was, my dad asked me if I wanted to go to 7:00 showing. I agreed and we left. First off, this is not a big comedy. I know what it says in the title, but the reason it's called Funny People is because it's about comedians. It's mainly about a man named George [Adam Sandler] a famous comedian who finds out he has a disease similar to lukemia. The doctor tells him he can die from this, so as more of a last stand he starts doing stand-up comedy again. He decides to hire a young, not-so-funny comedian named Ira [Seth Rogen] to write jokes for him and to be a caretaker for him. Ira comes to live with him in his mansion, leaving his roommates behind. One of his roommates has a t.v. show, Yo Teach, which is often mentioned in the movie. Ira soon becomes very good at stand-up and he and George get many offers from around the country. Soon, George finds out that he isn't sick anymore and he tells all his celebrity friends including Ray Romano, M&M, the rapper,and even some comedian friends. Then, he decides to talk to his ex-girlfriend and soon visits her and her family with Ira. George finds out his ex-girlfriend still has feelings for him, and that she is going to divorce her husband. I'm not gonna spoil it, but the end is very good. To all Adam Sandler fans, as good as this movie was, this is not his usual wacky character. He is very dramatic as well as funny, but if you're expecting another Waterboy you're in the wrong theater. As far as ratings go, for acting this gets 5 moviereels out of 5. The acting was superb, especially Sandler and Rogen. For storyline, it gets 4 1/2 moviereels out of 5. I must say very original, but was stretched out a little too much. And overall, it gets 4 1/2 moviereels out of 5. This movie is worth 9 bucks. But to all kids under 14, this movie has some sex scenes and most of the movie the word "fuck" is used. To all parents, you should probably talk to your kid about if he's comfortable watching sex or hearing bad language. If your kid is uncomfortable, I reccomend to see G.I. Joe or something. If your child is okay with it, still think before taking him or her. The sex scenes are only a minute long, but you see the real action. Movieman out. Be sure to go to MrThefunnyman on Youtube and watch my videos.

Harry Potter, you are getting to old for this!

The 6th Harry Potter movie came out a few weeks ago. At first, people were anxious and excited to see this movie. The 12:00 midnight showing was a full house, as I heard. But slowly, this movie stopped gaining interest. Why? That is a big question. Well, let's start from the beginning. First off, this movie is frightening for a PG movie. I assume at first parents thought this would be more of a childrens movie than the other two PG-13 movies. But actually, the movie had just about the same fright and monsters and mature problems. I bet if you took a seven year old kid to this movie, he would probably beg his parents to leave. It is scary at times, especially at one point but I don't want to spoil it, so I won't say. Another defect is already said in the title of this entry. Harry is getting old. When we first saw Harry in the first movie, he was a bright and happy boy. And now he is always getting mad at his friends and acting like a jerk to everyone, even to Dumbledore. I bet it's just horomones, but seriously. His friends risk their lives for him in every movie and he still treats them like crap. I just don't get it. And the last defect is that they take out many parts that made the 6th book good. They even took out the apparation test, which was a great part in the book. Don't even get me started on the insanely short battles. So ratingwise, for story it gets a 3 1/2 moviereels out of 5. The story lacked a lot and didn't have enough of the 6th book put in it. For acting, it gets a 4 1/2 moviereels out of 5. It did have great actors and actresses, and they all did their part well. For special effects, it gets 4 out of 5. Not enough special effects, but good when they were there. And overall, it gets a 4 moviereels out of 5. Not the best Harry Potter, but very easy to follow. That's a good thing. MovieMan out.

Ice Age 3 or Dinosaurland?

Look, it's hard to say whether the movies was enjoyable or not. Sure, the 3-D was great, but when it comes to jokes, it's like a 6 year old wrote it. There were a few chuckles here and there, but nothing to serious. I mean, the story is really just about the whole Ice Age gang on a rescue mission to save Sid the Sloth from a huge man-eating dinosaur. They also get extra help from more of a raccoon kinda thing who knows where to find Sid. If you are young, you will love it. If you are 13 and up, you may wanna shoot yourself before it's over. If you see it in 3-D, you might pass on the whole suicide thing just to see the great 3-D effects. But seeing it in 2-D, like I said, the suicide thing might go faster with popcorn in your mouth. Of course, effects may vary. So ratingwise, for story this movie gets 2 moviereels out of 5. The story was lacking a lot of things. Don't even get me started. For special effects. it gets 4 1/2 moviereels out of 5. Great effects, just a little too many. For acting, it gets a 4 1/2 moviereels out of 5. I have to admit it had great voice talent. And overall, it gets 3 1/2 moviereels out of 5. It could have been better. MovieMan out.