R for Retarted

Lately, every good movie is rated R. Every hilarious comedy is rated R. Every breathtaking action-adventure movie is R. Every horror movie is R. And you know what R means. No children under 17 allowed unless accompanied by an adult or guardian. Well, how many adults are gonna take you to Funny People, The Hangover, Inglorious Basterds, or I Love You Man and the list goes on. I am downright tired of it. You see, here's what it narrows down to. Hollywood is made up of an adult and children audience. Now, lately the adult attendence rate has gone down. So in order to fix that, Hollywood makes more rated R movies. The top movie rating adults attend is R. Why? Because that means there is sure to be very few kids there. And also because adults know that R means it is their kind of movie. So where does that leave kids? Right at the PG rating where all the movies about talking animals and magic rocks lay. And yes I'm talking to you Shorts and G-Force. So to fix the problem, Hollywood should cut the crap. Here are some steps to fix the problem. 1. If you make a kiddy movie, make it worth 9 bucks. Sure Shorts will appeal to little kids, but where does that leave the kids 10-13? Nowhere. Make something that will appeal to everyone. 2. For all the rated R comedies, cut the constant sex. It doesn't make the movie any funnier. Now, if the movie is about someone getting pregnant, or about someone on their honeymoon, you have an excuse. But for I Love You Man, the story has nothing to do with sex, so why put it in? And Funny People had way too much, considering the fact it didn't need it to make it funny. 3. The cursing has got to stop. I mean, I'm not saying you can't say a few words every now and then, but some movies use curse words in every sentence. Just like sex, cursing does not make the joke any funnier. Use them when needed. Following these steps will not only help Hollywood gain more attendance, but will also increase the rating for the movie by critics. So in a way it's a win-win situation. Don't waste a second. Get in there and make some movie magic!